Lessons to be Learned

Even more important than the warmth and affection we receive, is the warmth and affection we give. It is by giving warmth and affection, by having a genuine sense of concern for others, in other words through compassion, that we gain the conditions for genuine happiness. More important than being loved, therefore, is to love.

~Dalai Lama

            I have tried to live my life by these words although I have just recently seen this quote.  I suppose it is simply the Golden Rule reworded.  I am blessed…my immediate family and students make following this path effortless; however, I have encountered several individuals throughout the years that have challenged my attempts at honoring this course. 

© Noneal Johnson Archer Davenport

            These individuals fall under the varying categories of family member, friend and professional acquaintance, yet they each touched my life in such similar ways…ways that brought on such intense feelings and emotions as outrage, contempt, helplessness, sadness, anger, frustration, betrayal, and, eventually, self-loathing.  My husband teases me about my Sicilian blood and my inability/unwillingness to forgive people.  We both laugh about my obsessive temper when I feel that I - or someone I love – have been wronged, but, in reality, it haunts me.  How does one give “warmth and affection” to someone whose actions or words have created such strong sentiments?  I have never been comfortable with (terrified of, in fact)  facing someone and telling them how I feel… instead I fuss and fume, I lose sleep, I rant and rave and I write letters (some delivered, but most are not). 

            I feel that each of these people was put in my life in order that I may learn something valuable from our relationship.  I believe that I will continue to encounter such disagreeable people until I learn the lesson…I will continue to seek out what is to be learned.